Withering Ego, Shining Soul
As we enter the last week of Ramadan, those who have kept all the fasts look really weak, their voice has changed, they move slowly and overall have entered a whole new state. In that state, the ego has withered and lost its will. It is a good lesson for the ego, which is always so arrogant thinking so much of itself and forgetting the transience of everything; it is always ready to get triggered, by the slightest assumed affront on trivial matters; it is so self-righteous, because it holds its own beliefs as supreme and those of others as less so; it is so judgmental and has a constant commentary running in the head about how this or that should be; it gets seduced by praise and fame, rather than staying humble and it separates itself from the sea of universal consciousness which we are all a part of, and which reminds us how important connectedness, belonging and wholeness is.
And that is truly the purpose of Ramadan to tame the ego, and shine the soul. It is no easy matter, but literally not feeding the body leads to a mellower, peaceful ego if one is truly reflecting and meditating and remembering our Creator, the fragility and purpose of life and the amazing gifts we enjoy every single day. When the soul takes over, we are softer, kinder, gentler and in my case, more silent, which is a good thing. We observe more and dominate less. We don’t get triggered, or even if we do we are detached from the ego’s triggers. We see that everything happens for a purpose, even adversity, and that we have to accept it and gracefully go with the flow. It is a beautiful feeling not to be so attached to expectations, outcomes, events, desires or even dreams. They float away because our soul reminds us of the greater purpose we have. It may not look like we thought it should be. In fact, our dreams could come crashing down. But it may be the best thing in the long term. If we can move through adversity with grit and grace, we are better off for it and new pathways open up that were never expected.
When I used to work, I was not productive after 3pm while fasting because of weakness. But many people are actually more sharp and more creative. No matter what our threshold is, we truly benefit as whole human beings in a state of total gratitude and patience. That is why most Muslims give all their zakat (annual tax for poor) in this month to the poor and needy. Every year I look at the mail from hundreds of countries around the world with starving millions, and have to choose which one to send my zakat to. It is an honor and privilege and yet I do it with a heavy heart.
One of my friends visited Afghanistan and shared how a family had just eaten scallions for dinner the night before. A season of poverty after 40 years of superpower oppression, and the final blow by the US withholding $3.5Billion of Afghanistan’s frozen funds for 9/11 families. Some of the 9/11 families went on this trip too as part of the Unfreezing Afghanistan movement, which I pray will help that country soon, before millions more die. Ego at work on a larger scale- merciless and inhuman policies.
Sufis get very sad at the end of Ramadan, because the gift to the soul is so beautiful and hopefully lasting. And if it doesn’t last, there is always next year to shine the soul and tame our egos. Happy Early Eid to all my Muslim friends and peaceful holidays for all traditions! Let’s keep praying for mercy to return to all of us among many other missing values.
